lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
