I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
