This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
