mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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