you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Found the puke drawer
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
