At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
