I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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