I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
