yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
