...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
PANTIES FOUND
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