is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize