I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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