I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
