Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize