At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
