Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
