Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
