so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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