Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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