There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
