hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
