ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
