I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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