Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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