He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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