Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize