The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize