I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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