The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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