how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
