Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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