discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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