Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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