I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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