i think my tv is drunk
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just blew my weed a kiss
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
