What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
