once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
