I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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