3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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