dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
