Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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