you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
