Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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