I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
