I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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