so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
