Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
