I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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