Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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