I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
