you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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