There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
