Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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