"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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