I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize