God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
