We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
