nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
