i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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