I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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