hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
