Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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