it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize