Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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