Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
