I bet he comes in French.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
