well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
