Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
