just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
