When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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