She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
