Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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