i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
