I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize