That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
