I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize