no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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