Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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