i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
