so explain again why im purple
no
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
