I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
